the music of life

It was a big question mark to everyone’s face when I utter this line …“I am sad but I’m happy”… It was an unexplainable thought really, it just naturally pop up into my mind.

 I had this long conversation with my especial friend this afternoon; we talked a lot about things that need sorting.  I was totally calm and trying to understand every single word that I hear.  The unorthodox lifestyle that I experienced with this especial friend helped me realized how to become more aware of not letting yesterday use up too much of today. I learned how to understand more realities of life that no matter what happens, there is always a time for everything.

 I can’t explain in details how I am feeling now because I feel like I am refreshed in some ways. Have you ever experienced being trap into a relationship that it took a while for you to realize how wonderful it is when you finally discover the easiest way of expressing those inner feelings? Yes, It took a while for me to comprehend a lot of things in life and that took a lot of patience as well and time to finally came up with a good resolution and a compromise. That little piece of time was truly amazing if you really intend to happen.

I also learned that when two people are both in-love to each other. The impact is so massive that it will stretch your patience.  No matter what would that be, there is always a good agreement at the end but back to the questions unanswered. The discovery of the answers to those questions left behind was something to look into.  Pretty interesting because after decades of denials or decades of pretending, we olny learned the answers when we had this guilt and are making a mistake.

At the end of the day, i believe that if you are really meant for each other, whatever happens, you will and will meet someday…. and thats what im hoping for…

now that im alone, i’ve been reflecting deeply to those old days. I have to be honest but it’s really nice to think of all those precious moments when you are still on the stage of discovering and exploring the world around you. I can’t believe that those memories are still there all the time, it’s like opening a box that once you open it, everything you want to find its all there, inside, but let me go through this box once again…

I found my few plates, plates that filled with many interesting thoughts and ideas that it didn’t engage in some ways. Though im still trying to figure out how will these thoughts and ideas will pursue while im moving on, with my life…

I found my plate of friendship inside too, looking at this plate, i learned that, it’s not so easy to find a real friend. For me, friendship is a kind of relationship between anyone, that has a dynamic equality of their chemistry.

I also found my plate of love, with this plate, I have to be bold of what i think. I’ve learned that, real love will come without even knowing it, not even expecting it and not even going after it, because if its really for you then its for you, i also learned from love that, love is so powerful that will softens those hard hearts. It is like a solution that will help solve any conflicts between the two… 

I also found my plate of hobbies, well, as some of you already knew my hobby, i just want to say that, never compete, have fun and believe on what you do, i have few hobbies that really relaxes me. Just be yourself and yeah, everything will be alright…

well, those are few of my plates that i would like to share, i must say that im still learning and growing in many ways, its not that easy but if there is determination and less pride, i think there will be rainbow at the end…

Have a tea and sit and reflect on your thoughts too…

LOVE is what makes your heart fly, that feeling that makes you want to cry…. it is something that you can’t explain even though YOU try… gosh, it’s like… you would rather scream "Are you CRAZY!"

LOVE is saying no when it really is crazy.

Recently, I have had a discussion with one of my dearest friend ever. I do understand the emotions and feelings that he’s going through, its not a mystery that its  uncomprehensible  but it’s something that keeps him twinkly… in short… inlove!

Looking at the way, he  reason out himself, i again found that LOVE really "rocks your world". Just by looking at the person you’re inlove with, really makes you go nuts and the feeling is unexplainable.  It is true that love is merely a word in the English language but the real meaning behind it is something that cannot be expressed in words.

I believe that LOVE is something so powerful, that it is strong enough to take on any obstacles. We surrender everything we have just to show the true meaning of love. It is also a way of making a commitment to stand by someone no matter what.

I also believe that LOVE is a choice… it is something you decide to do. It’s not only the matter of following what your heart certainly say. It is a choice that makes you stay when you want to run.  (I know you know what i meant…)

As to what Virginia says, Love is opening yourself up to another, knowing that the chances for getting hurt are 99% good. If you keep yourself closed to hurt, you don’t really love… and, contrary to popular belief, love is saying you’re sorry… again and again and again.

Anyway, the colour of love is not just mouthing a lot of nice words. Love is putting action behind those words.

You will always be remembered and never forgotten

Dad… so many images come to mind

whenever I speak your  name,
I feel you and suddenly stops me from talking…

I’m sorry dad, that I was not there with you all the time like the way i used to,
but deep inside me, you are always in my heart and in my mind…
I will never forget the love you’ve given to me and all the cares you’ve showed to me…

Dad, some days I hear your voice and turn to see your face,
yet in my turning, it seems the sound has been erased.

Dad, if I could turn back time and once more hear your voice;
I’d tell you that out of all the dads, YOU ARE THE BEST DAD IN THIS WHOLE WORLD!

Please always know that I LOVE YOU and no one can take your place;

Years may come and go but your memory will never be erased…

Today, Jesus, as You
listening in you home above, would you go and find my dad and give him all my love…

Isn’t it wonderful feeling to meet, to see, to talk or chat, to exchange "hi" and "hello’s" to your old friends or high school classmates that you didn’t meet or see for decades?

It is really amazing what technology can do now a days, everything is so advance that if you want to see the person you love or miss, what you do, is just, to go infront of the computer and sit and type and log-in and talk while viewing the camera or just by dialing the phone. Isn’t it fantastic! Your love ones are happy and your’e happy too.

It all started when I recieved a forwarded email from my high school friend. I was so surprised, thinking who could this be.  So I deleted and ignored it for a while and then again, after few days, another forwarded message from the same person but this time, the complete name is written at the end of the page. He was my high school classmate. I was so happy that time, wow!and its because most of the email add of my high school classmates and friends are all there.

I took advantage of copying and saving all their yahoo id’s to my yahoo messenger list which I labelled as "my high-school classmates" from there, we start to chat (hi’s and hello’s, how’s life, etc… etc…) and at one stage we even don’t know who are we talking with.  The excitement and happiness is in the air.

I came to the point where, I kind of miss my old friends and my high school friends, it’s like "home", we talk naturally with our own languages, the old jokes and all that. But at the end, things are not the same like before, things change, there is the so called "grown up’s" and "matured", then here we are with families, jobs or other responsibilities.

With this passage, I would say, that even if we are busy with our own very lives, we cannot avoid to remember the past and by just talking to an old friend or to an old classmate, it makes no difference from the new ones.

Home sweet home as they say, and it’s absolutely true.

I’ve learned that before making big decisions in life, the consideration of thinking twice or so, must be on the top list. So at least, when the choice you made isn’t working or working, you know, that you did your part and always looking forward to be more productive and firm.

It was last year, when I made a big decision in my life and before I made that choice, I’ve given myself a lot of time to think, as days going so fast, without even realizing, it took at least one year for me to confirm my BIG decision.

Moving, Shifting or Relocating to different places or country isn’t easy, most especially when you know you are settled in that certain place. The place where you have everything you always wished for.

To sum up, before I came to that BIG decision, I had made sure that, I will be happy not for only short term but for long term as well. 

The most auspicious moment of your life is when you make the commitment to know the Truth, a commitment so firm there is no turning back. (Gurumayi Chidvilasananda)

Imagine a life which you woke up every morning excited about the day ahead and certain that, when you went to sleep at  night, you would be able to say, "This was a great day!"…

Imagine knowing that no matter what challenges you faced in your relationships, your work, or your family, you would always remain centered, calm and clear…

Imagine what it would be like if you knew exactly what you needed to do to make each and every one moment of your life one of great happiness, great commitment, and great peace…

These are only few experiences which I believe it’s possible or very attainable realities. But of course, I should not forget that we have different views on how we picture life. Knowing that we ourselves, are the one’s creating what kind of life we know its going to work.